Writing to GOD

He's seeing us!

Dear God,

I hope you’re fine. In case you didn’t notice, my life seems to be good too.

Although summers are on, but it’d rained last night, so the weather is a bit chilly now. I’d always wanted to ask you why you made summer seasons! Trust me, If you were in Allahabad staying in the top floor of Patel Hostel, you would not have considered doing that. But yeah anyways, summers have their own advantages. And when I say this, you know that I’m not talking about the mini-skirts and sleeveless-tops wearing girls. [;-)]

Actually, life really appears to be great this time. Except for the SS minor exam last week and the break-up of Dexter and Rita in the an episode of Dexter Season 3, everything else rocks. I hate Rita, although can’t deny the fact that she’s too hot! [:-)]

Hey by the way, thanks for making hot girls. You don’t realize what good you’ve done for the mankind by this. It has made our lives worth living. Thanks a lot (especially for Avril Lavigne, Elisha Cuthbert & Priyanka Chopra). But if you’d modulated their ATTITUDE levels a bit too, it would have been so generous. Please take this into consideration for future creations.

Actually there are so many things for which I need to extend my gratitude towards you. Thank you very much God for giving us Sachin Tendulkar and A R Rahman. They are the best men alive I know. Thanks for making MNNIT girls not-so-sexy, not-so-hot. At least I’ve got one single reason to focus on my studies. [:-P]

But let me tell you it still isn’t a perfect world. Especially after you’ve demolished Nesckis in MNNIT Allahabad, there’s nothing much left out here. Now everyone calls your name when they feel hungry late night. Some suggestions for improvement include creation of more great personalities like Kalam, Nilekani, Narayan Murti etc. (Please don’t make one like me for a while, I prefer to remain unique until I’m alive.) [;-)] But yes, make more BARNEYs. He’s the greatest man on the earth.

Please tell the Tilak Mess people to cook well... at least for your sake!! People say I’m getting skinner day by day. I wish they knew the real reason. Hey, can you please reset the mindset of MS Dhoni? As a matter of fact, we all Indians need it done right now. Other proposals may include repairing ACs & Water Coolers of our college. It’s too hot in there during the classes and lack of chilling water too. Also ask the damn MNNIT professors to start behaving like humans a bit. There’s a hell lot to write about them but may be I’ll do that in some future letter. For now you too know they all suck!

Since you’ve helped me out in every phase of my life, I’m confident you would take my all the above points into consideration.

And yeah... about that deal of ours... I’m complying with it completely. I request you to making her say ‘yes’. You don’t know what you’ll do for me. And as per our agreement, I will love her more than anything else in my life. Well... I must tell you she’s much better than what you & I’d guessed. She’s very caring, wakes me up daily in the morning so that I could attend my bloody lectures. Believe me God, having her brings so much confidence. There are a million reasons I love her. And like you once said, she’s the best girl we know in the world.

I guess you should also make a gf now. Do tell me if you consider proposing that secret-crush of yours! [;-)]

Rest is all awesome. And I’m including that ‘red-top blue-short-hot-pants’ girl I saw that day near Electronics Department in the previous sentence. She was damn sexy!! [:-)]

Thanks for everything.

Take care of this world. 

Yours,

Amar Garg.

***

PS — Hope the letter helps. [;-)]

PS — Missing my home, missing Mathura.

PS — Low on cash too. [;-)]

PS — Chuck Season 1 begins.

PS — I love you Barney Stinson (casted in How I met your mother).

PS — Chalo gotta go. Sayonara.

A Bitchy Proposal..

“Hey Ruchi... do you wanna listen me or not? I want to say something yaar...” He said.

“No !!” She replied.

Just like everyday, Jatin and Ruchi were sitting at the Insti Nescki after the classes. Just like everyday, they were eating their muffins and drinking frappes. And just like everyday, they were having an argument. But this day was a bit more than that.

“You know... you’re a bitch.” He yelled.

“How dare you say it to me?” She shouted at him like she always does.

“Yes...!! You’re one. But I love you.” He uttered at once. Surely, it wasn’t one of the best dialogues to propose a girl. He too didn’t believe he said that.

“What?? What did you say?”

“I said I love you.” He repeated. It sounded good to him.

“But you said I’m a bitch?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” He tittered.

“One second... I ain’t getting you. Are you proposing me or insulting me?” She inquired.

“I’m just saying the truth.” He said.

Yes.. he really loved her. He’d first seen her at the introduction day of the college. It was like love at first sight. Later he approached and talked to her. He was lucky because it came out that they both were from the same branch & same city. Classes started and they soon became good friends. They used to study together & hangout in the Insti talking or sometimes watching movies during the night-outs. They spent loads of time together talking, quarreling and fighting with each other. Jatin knew she’s "the one". But there was a problem – She was a BITCH!!

“You are nuts. I am leaving...” She yelled and stood up.

“Hey wait... don’t act weird yaar... if there’s any problem we can discuss it..” He shrieked.

“Oh.. so you wanna discuss that I am a bitch...!”

“Yeah...!!”

“What the F !! May I know how?”

“Good question. But don’t let me open my mouth..!” He chuckled. He was surprised by his awkward sense of humor particularly in this situation. Ruchi wasn’t impressed.

“No.. you’ve got to tell me...”

“I won’t.”

“Then I’m leaving.”

“Wait... I love you.” He said and held her hand.

“What??? Get off me..” She plucked back.

He stood up, held her hand again and said:

“I know you’re a bitch. But I love you. You’re just no more than a selfish, dumb witted egoistic moron. Still I love you. I know you how you treat boys and use them to entertain you. I know you go for dates each weekend with a different guy every time. Still I love you. I know you don’t care for me, or anyone who loves you. Nevertheless, I love you. Don’t ask me why, I too even don’t know the reason. All I know that there’s no time I don’t think about you. All I know is I’ve never felt the same for any girl in my life as I feel for you. All I know is I love you..... even if you’re a bitch.” ;-)

“Huh..!” She sighed. She’d never got such an absurd and insane proposal in her life. She didn’t know what to say.

“So... Ruchi... Will you be my girl?” He bent on his knees and said.

“Go to hell !!” She shouted.

“Hmm... seems you didn’t like what I said. OK fine... you can leave.” He sat down back on the bench.

“Hey... but just now you told me to stay?” She defended.

“But now I beg you... please for god’s sake... LEAVE ME ALONE !!”

“You know you’re the biggest jackass I’ve ever seen in my life.” She screamed at him. He was upset enough to pay any heed to her comment.

“I know.” He replied nervously.

“But I love you too.” She whispered and left. ;-)

*********

PS — No personal offense made. It’s a work of pure fiction. ;-)

PS — CTs are coming on head. (And once again I'm going to be screwed).

PS — Prison Break rocks!! No doubt about it... Love you Michael Scofield.

PS — Planning to switch to Mac OS...What say folks?

PS — Song of the Day- Ajab Si from Om Shanti Om (by Vishal Shekhar).

PS — Lets dedicate it to her. :-)

PS — I’ve been sleeping like dogs these days... morning 5 till afternoon 1.

PS– But after all... kutte bi to insaan hi hote hai. ;-)

 

PS — Enough of BakC. See ya. Adieu.

will U be mine??

 

When I’d almost decided to get over and move on,

When I’d lost all my hopes and aspirations,

When I’d almost convinced myself to live without you,

When I’d just promised God to love in vain,

 

You came like an angel and guess what… ruined it all.

This is my first Valentine’s Day because of you dear. You don’t know, you don’t realize what you’ve done for me.

Hey have I told you already, but in case if I haven’t, I won’t miss a single chance to say:

I Love You.

There’s something in you which inspires me everyday, every moment to live euphorically. There’s something in your eyes which spurs me to bring all the happiness of the world before you. There’s something in your smile which makes me feel that everything’s going alright. And when you say, ‘I love you too’, there’s something in your voice which makes me feel I am the luckiest boy in this world.

This Valentine, I want you to be mine forever. I want to spend my whole life with you. I want you to accompany me so that I could make you feel that how special you are to me.

I want to grow old with you. I love you outside the limitations of time and distance. Even if you are 700 kilometers away from me, I can feel you inside my heart.

Thanks for giving me those days of struggle, because otherwise I wouldn’t have realized how precious you are… for me, for this world.

Thanks for acknowledging and accepting my love. The jar of love was about to spill when you came and drank it all.

Thanks for loving me too; it’s the best gift I could ever get in my life.

*********

PS — So it’s like… She said YES !!!!! :-) 

PS — Love’s in the air (along with oxygen, nitrogen & other gases). ;-)

PS — I wish I had got words to describe how happy I am feeling this time.

PS — Song of the Day: Dream Girl by Kishor Kumar from movie Dream Girl.

PS — I am amazed to see how a girl can change the whole aura around a boy.

PS — So with the following novel thought, I would like to shut my mouth.

PS —“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equal nothing.”

Few laws of Murphy

 

Murphy was a great philosopher who gave many laws regarding our daily lives. Most of them are very humorous, but still contain a few unsaid facts of life.

I’ve compiled some of them whom I thought are the funniest. Its absolutely not my creation, but copied shamelessly from an external source. ;)

BUS LAWS:

• If its raining, or cold or both the bus will be late.

• If you’re running late the bus will be too.

• If you have no change then the bus driver won’t have any either.

• Whenever you get a seat with a pretty girl, she will start a cell phone conversation about her Boyfriend or Mother's hospital operation.

COMMERCE LAWS:

• The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.

• The boss is always right.

• The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong - until the next person quits or is fired.

• People don’t make the same mistake twice, they make it three, four, or five times.

• When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

LOVE LAWS

• All the good ones are taken.
  

• If the person isn’t taken, there’s a reason.
  

• It’s always easier to get a partner if you already have one.
  

• Brains * Beauty * Availability = Constant. This constant is always ZERO.
  

• A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.
  

• The man shall not win the argument he started.
  

• The man shall not win the argument he didn’t start.
  

• If a man won an argument, it was just in his head.
  

• Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.

SEX LAWS:

• Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

• Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.

• Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

• Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

• There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

PS — All these are shamelessly copied from somewhere. ;)

PS — Yeah, but still had to work hard ( for finding the source, and choosing the best ones.)

PS — Finally, enjoyment is over. CTs are coming, I have to study.

PS — Wait, is enjoyment over? No, Valentine's day is coming too. Love fever is ON. :P

PS  — Happy Rose Day to all girls of MNNIT & also to whom I know & Love.

PS — Take Care. Adios.

R2 - Dil Mil Gye!

# For those who don’t know, R2 or ‘Reading Room’ is a large hall in the Central Library of MNNIT which is 12 hours open for students.

The Reading Room concept was introduced by MNNIT authorities to encourage students to study more. I don’t know how far they’ve succeeded in this job, but the one thing I do know is that the students have put this R2 into a better use. Some people read books here, and some read faces... faces of girls.

There are several reasons why students go R2.

1. Its air-conditioned.
2. Its having a Nescafe counter nearby.
3. Girls.

Some of the most prominent observations I had in R2 are as follows:

# The amount of study done is inversely proportional to the number of girls present out here.

# The amount of frustration (or frustaapa, as by MNNIT lingo), is directly proportional to number of couples present.

Earlier, I hated to go R2. I mean whats the point of walking a kilometer from your hostel to study something you can do it in your room only. But gradually I realized why the place is so popular. Basically it acts as a bridge between farthely-separated girls and boys hostel. Although boys have to walk a bit less to reach here than girls, but then again its justified. After all, they are the girls. ;-)

Its also a meeting point of couples. They come with their books/laptops etc., sit for a while and try to study (which is impossible for both of them in presence of each other). And then when they fail badly, they sleep on each-others shoulders leaving the rest of the crowd to see them and envy.

There is also scope for those who are not having a ‘bandi’. Its really a great feeling to see a girl studying. I must say girls look really cute when they study. (I wish I could say the same for boys also. ) So, the funda is, you study and when you need a break, take your head out of your book and look around. After 5 minutes, you’ll be fully-refreshed and ready to start studying again.

R2 is also internet enabled. So some people come here with their laptops. Since in R2 you cannot watch anything objectionable, therefore one can work here without any distractions (which normally occur when one is surfing internet in his room).

So friends, this is R2. Here the love inculcates, nourishes and reaches upto the extent of sleeping (of course on each other’s shoulders). I really doubt if R2 has produced some 9 pointers. But one thing thats sure is that it has been the favourite hangout for ‘5 point someone’ like me.

I am hopeful that one day I’ll visit R2 and will use the excellent facility provided by Indian Government for only studying. Although I doubt the day will come. :-)

******* 
PS — Hmm… watched Victoria's secret Fashion show. Models are like angles. Love u Miranda.!

PS — I’d sent a friend request to a girl of my branch on orkut, but she refused.

PS — So I sent it again & guess what, she again refused. :-(

PS — WTF!!

PS — Gnosiomania is coming. Are you G+ ?

PS — Addicted to 'Dil to Bachha hai from Ishqiya', it rocks!

PS — Tchao. :-)

 

I need a girlfriend!

“I need a girlfriend!” I said.
“So go and get one.” he replied.

“Come on... if this was so easy, I wouldn’t have called you for help!” I retorted. He smiled and sat on the chair. His face was calm and unperturbed. His sole presence made me feel peaceful and assuasive. He was God.

“It’s quite easy dear but only if you've a reason.”
“Reason... for what?” I asked getting confused.

“Its like give me one valid reason why you really need a girlfriend, and I will give you one.” He spoke diligently.

“Sex.” I replied.

He laughed, may be on my answer or may be on me.

“You wanted a reason, I gave you one. Now what are you laughing at?” I uttered trying to defend myself.

“Is that the only one reason you have?”
“Nopes, there are others too.”
“Write them on a paper in 10 minutes and give it to me.” He said and left for a tea break.

So here’s what I wrote in my paper:

Why do I need a girlfriend?

1. I’ve got everything else I really needed in my life, except a girlfriend.
   
2. I too want someone to accompany me while I study in Reading Room.
   
3. There’s a lot of time to waste, so better waste it with your girl.
4. Having a girlfriend makes you socially stable, mentally ‘less unstable’. Although I am not sure about the financial aspect.
5. I don’t like my life moving in a smooth way. I love problems. I love challenges.  So, I need a girl.
6. After all, a girl is the most beautiful creation of God. She’s cute, she’s innocent, she’s talkative. She has the power of eliminating all your tensions and problems (and also creating new ones).

“Hmm…” God sighed after looking at my paper. “Is that all?”
“Yes sir.” I replied happily.

“Let me tell you one thing. We never ‘need’ a girlfriend, we always ‘choose’ to have.” God said. I hate when he becomes so philosophical.

“I didn’t get you.”

“You shouldn’t “want” a girlfriend or “need” a girlfriend. You should choose to have one when you meet a woman that fits your criteria, won’t play silly games with you, and compliments your life, not impedes it.” Obviously, He was speaking something great and valuable.

“But I can’t wait for that to happen. If I haven’t found a girl in my last 18 years, what’s the guarantee that I’ll find one very soon?” I objected.

“You already have found one.”

“Are you talking about her?”

“Yep.” God said proudly. He knows everything about me, even more than me. “Why don’t you propose her?”

“Because I am afraid.” I replied. God had raised the critical point.
“Of what? Why you’ve to afraid when I am with you!”

“I am afraid of failure.”

“Without failure you’ll never know what’s a victory. Failure is the next step to success.”

“So now what should I do?” I asked. I was confused.

“Listen to your inner voice because its mine.” He said.

God was right. People think that having a girlfriend will make their life more meaningful or lively. Its a wrong notion. We should always keep our doors open until we find a girl who fits our criteria. Then we can choose to have a girlfriend. And when you’ve got such girl, don’t wait, just propose her. Tell her how much you love and care for her. Don’t be afraid of defeat, because whatever be the outcome, God will always be with you.

“God, one last question.” I said.
“Yes dear.“

“God, do you have a girlfriend?”

He got stunned by this question. He thought for a while and then opened his mouth.

“No. But I like someone.”

“Have you proposed her?“

He turned backside as if trying to avoid the question.
“God, I asked have you proposed her?” I inquired again.
“No.”

*********

PS — Question of the Day: Why do you need a girlfriend?

PS — This is my first post.

PS — Latest News: I’ve started studying.

PS — Missing my lovely Home.

PS — Watched ‘3 Idiots’ last week. The book was better.

PS — See my friend Wasim's blog here.

PS — Adios.